It's Your Birthday Dude....

This past weekend was a BIG weekend. One of these only comes around every couple months within a group of friends. Sometimes, you have a bunch right in a row, and let me tell you, it gets painful. Long days, late nights and early mornings are all mixed in with loud noises, unquenchable thirsts, and the resulting headaches.

For those who might not know what I am talking about, it was a good friend of mines birthday this weekend, and we got after it! It turned into a two day debauchery dedicated to the birth of my good friend Santana.

I began receiving texts and phone calls Friday afternoon around 3 to confirm my presence. The first of which came from my friend Noire, and I told him that I would be in attendance but would have to touch base with them later. I had my hands full with things around the apartment. Phone calls and IM's were not on my priority list.

Phone calls continued, but I ignored them; with such bad reception in my basement apartment, answering calls can be a real inconvenience. The occasional text was sent on my behalf, but my friends seemed to get a little peeved over the fact that I was sending texts, but not answering phone calls. I received a voicemail from my buddy Leo calling me gutless for not attending the festivities and explaining that I was a real jerk for not attending.

Not once had I told them I wasn't attending. Like I've already stated, I was just busy all day and answering the phone was not something I wanted to do.

Let me continue. I had a couple beers while I got ready and jumped in a cab to meet my friends for 11 in front of a bar we normally do not attend.

I was greeted by shocked faces and comments along the lines of "I can't believe you showed!" or "I didn't think you were coming!" I call these people my friends, but they seem to not know me at all. When have I turned down an opportunity to head out and misbehave? Party foul on their behalf!

Myself, Leo and Noire were standing out front waiting for Santana and the rest of the group to show up. I was introduced to a guy, who was also celebrating his birthday, but I don't remember his name. He had a guest list that he put us all on, and a bottle service once we were inside. He could stay.

Santana eventually arrived, but for some reason felt he had to wait in line. You will understand why in a second. He saw us waiting for him, and tried to run up to greet everyone, and me. Santana tripped over the rope that separated the line from the sidewalk. This was followed by him realizing that he had forgotten his wallet at home. He was already out of his tree, and the night was only supposed to be beginning. Thankfully, the DD for the night was willing to drive him home to get it. What a joke.

Unwilling to wait outside in the cold for Santana to get back, myself, Leo, Noire and the dude with the bottle service went inside.

We proceeded to the top floor, and got ourselves some drinks. The plan was to hang out there for a bit, and then head to a more familiar bar. But as you know, plans tend to change in an instant.

Anticipating that we were leaving, the three of us did not even check our coats. We stood in this crowd, and watched the room slowly fill up. A shot of tequila and another beverage later, Santana finally got there, this time, with his wallet.

He dragged us to the lower level of the bar that was featuring some cover band. As most tend to do, they were butchering some of my favorite songs. I ordered another drink, and they started to sound pretty good.

Santana was staggering around from conversation to conversation as people continually were filling up his pint. Every time he came up to talk to me, I spent most of the conversation trying to avoid him spilling his booze all over my sweater.

A booth finally opened up, and we capitalized on a chance to sit down. We felt it was a good idea for Santana to sit a couple plays out. We chatted about this and that, cracked a few stupid jokes, and then the plans changed.

As we were all talking, someone made a gay joke, and Santana decided to share with us that he is gay. I think his girlfriend of several years might not be too impressed with this, but we all thought it was hilarious.

He began walking up to people, and introducing himself in the following way "Hi, my name is Santana. It's my birthday and I'm gay too. It's also my coming out party." Once this started, we all decided that this two leveled bar was the destination for the night. Santana had already been let in, and most likely would not be let in anywhere else.

In for the long haul, we finally checked out coats. More drinks were acquired, and dancing ensued.

The requests were made that I did my impression of how my friends danced, and if you've ever seen them dance, I've got it down to a T. Since Noire was out with us, I decided to add his bump and grinds to my repertoire. People were paying attention to me, I was very happy.

Another drink was gathered.

I noticed my first individual to laugh at. His dance moves were unparalleled, and resembled a seizuring three legged dog. We pointed. We laughed. He joined us in laughter, but we were laughing at him. Kudos to this random dude though, he was having a great time.

The night continued rather uneventful, fill in some drinks, more dancing, and the occasional inebriated heart to heart from Santana, and you pretty have an understanding of how the majority of the night went.

Deciding that we needed to spruce up the evenings events, I began to ponder how to jump start the things a bit more. Leo and I approached the bar to get another drink, when I saw my opportunity.

A girl had gone to the bar to get herself a beverage, and removed the tiara that she had been wearing as an accessory. When she glanced away, the tiara became mine. I subtly grabbed it, and put it on my head. She faced forward and wondered where her tiara had gone.

The way I saw it, it was a win-win situation. She either noticed I had it, and I was granted a conversation starter, or she didn't notice I had it, and I would have a nice accessory of my own to make me look pretty. She didn't notice I was wearing it, so I was looking pretty!

I walked back to the group and instantly got laughs. My plan was a success. We continued to dance, and everyone wanted a piece of the princess in the tiara. After so much dancing, in such tight quarters, I began to find it very difficult to control my perspiration. This upper level bar featuring your usual club mix of music had slowly filled to the brim. Every time you moved you were unintentionally groping, or being groped by some stranger. I had just enough of the liquor to not even be bothered by it.

My sweat continued to pour out, and I decided the sweater had to go. I took it off in an attempt to cool down, but that plan did not work. More sweat leaked our of my pores. The jokes were made that I "needed a squeegee" to mop up all the sweat. Thanks guys.

The night ended, and we piled into the DD's car. I live out of the way from everyone else, so the driver was very nice to drop me off. To show my appreciation, I drew pictures on her window. It was fun. You are welcome for the artwork.

A stop at pizza pizza for a slice was necessary, and after it was purchased, we quickly arrived at my basement apartment. The driver asked for a bite, I laughed at her, and told her I was thankful for the ride home.

The first night had ended. It was fun. Happy birthday!

The next morning started slowly. That was to be expected. A nice meal and a shower later, I was starting to feel better. I tackled some book learning, until I was summoned to the gym by Leo. My body ached with the thought of working out, but it was very necessary after the previous night.

We got to the gym, and started our workout. It was a chest and back day for me.....ladies.

As I began to lift, the gas began to start, the smells really burnt the nostrils. To quote a favorite movie of mine, it smelt like "burnt hair inside a used diaper." I've been told by a friend who has three beautiful daughters, that the smell combination of those two things could be one of the worst smells on the planet. My innards had achieved that.

We had finished the workout and decided to do some abs. I should have quit while I was ahead, because the ab exercises did me in. The combination of compressing the stomach, sweating, and the physical exertion, did not sit well. The party that had been taking place in my stomach the night before, was about to end.

I ran to the restroom to discover that some good Samaritan had used the stall, and not flushed. Thanks you jerk! The poor urinal took the punishment for your ignorance.

We left, and I got home to a warm shower and a nice nap. I got a phone call from Leo informing me that it was time to do it again. Great!

We arrived at a nice restaurant/pub and glanced into the room to notice it was Santana and some family (cousins, sister, his girl friend etc.). We sat down and instantly noticed we were the white shadow in the room. Time to get a drink.

We stood out like sore thumbs, and periodically caught other people at the table looking at us and whispering. I'm going to assume they were commenting on how good looking we were. I mean, how could they not.

After a couple drinks, people started to buy the birthday boy some shots. Leo and I decided to provide a few for him as well. Santana began to oppose taking shots alone, so they started coming in two's. For some reason, I was elected to take the shot with him. That's cool, free shots are my favorite kind of shots.

We told stories about the night before, other nights out, and just had a good time. It was nice, we were the last to leave.

Leo and I went to one of our favorite places after this, but the story for Santana's birthday celebration ends here. It was good times shared by all, and a nice 48 hour bender. So happy birthday dude, and I wish a drink for you, a drink for me, and lots of sex when its free.

Cheers!